Skip to content

Joe Bennett skewers Trump

April 12, 2017

Joe Bennett’s latest column is a very witty one. In this piece Bennett mocks Trump superbly.

A sample:-

My fellow Americans, I stand before you this evening in this Floridian resort of mine, home to fat white golfers who enjoy the company of fat white golfers, to announce that I have ordered a missile strike on an airbase in Syria that I am not even going to try to pronounce. In order to seem like a president I am standing in front of a velvet curtain and a US flag that my staff have just acquired from Wal-Mart, and I am reading very deliberately from the autocue. But I am finding it hard.

One problem is that the statement is written in sentences. I have no use for sentences. I find it easier to speak in gobbets, pulses of half-baked, second-hand thought, with each gobbet bringing to mind another gobbet, and another and another, like a string of verbal sausages.

But I am also finding it hard because, even though I went to the best schools, I’ve never taken to reading. I prefer television. I particularly like Fox News, which is the only channel to treat me fairly, perhaps because it is owned and staffed by fat white golfers and other sexual predators.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: