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Taranaki groupie poses as a journalist interviews the ‘Pie Minister’


This so called piece of dross, masquerading as an article, was written by a ‘journalist’ supposedly. Even by the standards of much of what passes for news these days, it is makes one want to vomit.

The dreadful tone is set with the headline: Pie Minister , for chrissake Stupid Little Girl is marginally better.

Stephanie Mitchell, a  Ardern groupie posing as a journalist, fawns over Ardern for Stuff.

The fact this was published goes a long way to explaining why many media face declining readership.

“Sorry my mouth’s full, I just shoved the last of a pie in,” laughs the Prime Minister of New Zealand before sitting down and re-applying her lipstick.

No doubt that qualifies as human interest.

It’s Friday lunchtime in Venture Taranaki’s New Plymouth headquarters.

After a morning of talks with oil and gas workers, local government and union members, the PM has agreed to sit down for a quick one-one-one chat.

No mention of business leaders, just of a claque of likely supporters, plus of course the ever supportive Fourth Estate.

I’ve never met a prime minister before, and as I sit in a small room with Joy, her friendly press officer, I’m reminded of the words of Eminem, a little, unknown poet who I think will go on to do big things.

What a load of absolute tosh

My palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy, but thankfully there was no vomit on my sweater, because I avoided mum’s spaghetti.

I don’t know why, but I’ve always had a problem with sweaty palms, especially when nervous or excited, and this was no different.

Really, does anyone care – this article is supposed to be about the Pie Minister, not the groupie and her problem with sweaty palms or her mum’s spaghetti.

Once she’d swallowed the last remnants of her lunch, and her lipstick was on point, she looked me directly in the eyes with a smile from ear to ear and told me how nice it was to meet me.

Cue, swoon and oohs and aarhs

“My auntie used to be the canteen lady at the local girls’ school,” she added. “I always meet girls who know my Aunty Marie. She’s quite memorable.”

The Prime Minister followed that by asking how long I had been a reporter, where I was from, what I’d been up to, and where I went to school, all while maintaining eye contact.

Actually, I think she asked me more questions than I asked her.

Groupie swoons, and confesses her total inadequacy

Say what you like about Jacinda Ardern, she certainly knows how to put you at ease. I have to remind myself that I’m speaking to the leader of our country.

She’s such a pro that she took the microphone from the table and popped it on her jacket without us having to ask. She must do this five or more times a day but she makes me feel like I’m her first interview.

Not a reporter, but an admirer with no objectivity or capacity for analysis.

Then we get an insight to this pathetic scribe:

As soon as I heard murmurs that the PM was coming to Taranaki I yelled across the room to my editor that I wanted to cover it.

I was then asked how many of my feminism shirts I would wear to the meeting, to which I replied, “all of them”.

Adam took a pause here, to vomit.

As a woman, I found it refreshing when Jacinda Ardern became leader of the Labour Party on August 1, 2017.

More about the groupie’s feelings

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you,” she says when I tell her.

Ardern the PR Queen extends the ‘luv’

Then of course we get the ‘baby’ rubbish

She’s also only the second world leader to be pregnant while in office – Prime Minister of Pakistan Benazir Bhutto being the first in 1990.

It is a great statement that women don’t have to choose motherhood or a career. They can do it all. (And, yes, I am cringing as I type that old cliche.)

Finally one final cringe

At the end of our allotted five minutes I thank the Prime Minister for her time and tell her I’m at the end of my questions.

“Great,” she says, with that winning smile,”You’ve been very efficient.”

Of course she said that, as the ‘reporter’ never actually asked any questions nor pushed Ardern on the issues. An absolute disgrace.


One Comment
  1. 28/05/2018 20:44

    Tosh is the right word – this is so unprofessional. It would be more fitting in a personal diary than a serious news site.

    Liked by 1 person

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