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Yesterday’s Pep Rally: Our Plan for a modern and prosperous New Zealand by Jacinda Ardern aka Jacinda’s platitudinous pile of piffle (#1)


Note: This will be several posts, to keep matters reasonably short and interesting.

Yesterday’s ‘big event’ was a carefully orchestrated media event with a vetted audience and pre-vetted questions for the Q + A at the end. it was more like a Trump rally than the participants would care to admit. We had the warm up act – Winston Peters, the sycophantic backing group led by James Shaw and then the star of the show – Jacinda Ardern. Again very Trump like with a speech devoid of any real substance, full of waffle or as Chris Bishop remarked a ‘platitudinous pile of piffle’

Some commentators likened it to a product launch. Sorry, product launches are about concrete finite things which can be examined and assessed in a meaningful way.

Similarly there has been talk of this being a blueprint. My dictionary defines a blueprint as a detailed plan. This speech did not set out a detailed plan it was a collection of aspirations laying out very broad and often vague concepts. In the IT industry this is sometimes called ‘vapour ware’ – indeed some software has been characterised by slogans such as ‘runs well on Power Point’, this disparaging description seemed peculiarly apt yesterday when the media construct aka Jacinda Ardern revealed her genius.

or as Walter Mondale famously said in 1984 ‘Where’s the beef?’

Where’s the beef?” is a catchphrase in the United States and Canada introduced in 1984. The phrase originated as a slogan for the fast food chain Wendy’s. Since then it has become an all-purpose phrase questioning the substance of an idea, event or product The phrase became associated with the 1984 U.S. presidential election. During primaries in the spring of 1984, when the commercial was at its height of popularity, Democratic candidate and former Vice President Walter Mondale used the phrase to sum up his arguments that program policies championed by his rival, Senator Gary Hart, were insubstantial, beginning with a March 11, 1984, televised debate prior to the New York and Pennsylvania primaries.

Anyway here is the speech with Adam’s comments

Jacinda Ardern said:

After seeing a busy ‘show reel’ like that, I have a couple of observations.

This appears to be the ‘show reel’ (released by NZ Labour Party. If not, please inform Adam and show him where the actual one is.)

This was a reference to a video played to the event

First, I really do hug people a lot.

But secondly, and much more importantly, that collection of achievements makes me feel incredibly proud.

Clearly she has an incredibly low bar as to what is assessed as an achievement. ( Another post will consider that video in more detail later.)

Next month marks the first anniversary of this Government. Not only have we achieved a huge amount, we’ve done it as the most pure form of MMP government New Zealand has ever had.

A very Trumpian remark and like Trump this remark is not correct. First off, she reiterates the level of achievement and claims it as huge. Again very Trump like in making free with hyperbole and talking up mediocrity as substance. Then the claim about MMP purity. This claim is classic Trump in its scope and is palpably untrue, again a Trump trademark. Furthermore, it trashes the Clark NZF Coalition of 2006 – 2008.

And perhaps it’s because we have never had a government quite like ours that we cause a little bit of chat.

Well yes that’s correct, but not for the reasons you infer. The chat, as Ardern calls it, is because of the staggering incompetence and hubris of the coalition and the highly visible dysfunction.

It should come as no surprise though, that as three distinct parties, we will have different opinions and ideas. Those didn’t begin and nor did they end at the negotiating table.

But ultimately, we make those differences work as much as we make our consensus drive us forward.

Adam has read and read again those comments. Frankly, he thinks they are meaningless buzz speak or in English crap. They say nothing.

Today, I’m here not just to recap on what we’ve done as a government in the short time we’ve been in office, but also to share with you what we’ll keep doing, what’s driving us as a government, and what you can expect.

Back to Trumpworld.

At this point to be honest Adam got fed up with the platitudes, waffle and flapdoodle.

Come back tomorrow for the next episode of Jacinda and the Piffle


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